lundi 28 janvier 2013

Trust No One, Especially People Wearing Zombie T-Shirts

By Gerald Crist


Good grief, there are a lot of zombies out there! I mean, not literally. You don't have to start boarding up the windows, or anything. I'm actually referring to the fact that zombies are everywhere you look in the media. You can't turn on a television screen these days without seeing some incarnation of the undead stumbling towards a fleeing victim. I see kids who are way too young to be watching such violent things walking around the mall with zombie tee shirts on. It's a little ridiculous.

Zombies roaming the earth will probably never happen, but we live in a chaotic universe...so what if it does happen? The vast majority of people will die in terrible pain and violence. There will be a small percentage who will survive based on pure survival skill, instinct, or luck. Then, there will be an even smaller percentage who survive because they are zombie tees wearing fanatics.

When the horror of the undead wasteland descends upon us all, we certainly need to keep in mind that anyone wearing zombie shirts are probably just as big of a threat as the undead themselves. That's why you need to think very carefully when you run across a small knot of these zombie fan boys in the ruins of society.

There are many reasons to veer away from these cretins in their cool zombie shirts. The main reason is their complete self-absorption, though. You may think you're friends and that you'll always look out for one another out here in no-man's-land. You may think that because he shared his "last" can of peaches with you that he's not hoarding food. You may think that if the time came when you needed saving, he'd be there for you.

What all of this boils down to, is that if you see people wearing zombie tee shirts...don't ever trust them. The first time you are being threatened by the undead and are being chased, they will not hesitate to trip you and leave you as a zombie snack. For your own safety, you should probably just try to survive the zombie apocalypse all on your own. Having friends just isn't worth the risk.




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